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I have told my kids to donate any organ or tissue that can possibly be donated, then to donate the rest of me to The Body Farm in Tennessee. I'm not using it anymore, if there is a way my body can go on to help others, cool.

It is indeed! Here's a link to the program. . There are a few of them throughout the US and Canada, I think there is one in Australia too, but I am more familiar with the Tennessee one because I used to live not too far from it.

Very interesting conversation! I have not seen an embalmed body at a funeral in quite a while, most the ones I have been recently have been closed casket. Personally I would also rather be cremated, the idea of burials weird me out a bit and they are also insanely expensive and I don't want that burden put on any of my loved ones.

Instead of viewings I have seen some very lovely memorials and video slideshows to commemorate the dead. I do also know it's an option to have a headstone without a body if you still want the comfort of a place for loved ones to visit and perhaps request that some ashes be placed there as well.

I have had two deaths in the family that kinda go along these lines. The first was my aunt. She died of breast cancer about 2000 after trying surgery, and chemo. To put it nicely she didn’t look like herself. She was cremated and we did a memorial remembering who she was and how she wanted us to remember her. My cousins buried her ashes under a tree that got a plaque with her epitaph on it.
The second was my uncle, cancer again. They found it late stage, and it progressed rapidly. Same thing with the cremation and memorial, just he was a very out there person. He insisted on being cremated with this powder blue 70’s leisure suit, all his friends came and told their old jokes and stories and cried. Then at the end my other cousin (his son) put his ashes in an old Folgers can and put it in the shop he ran. (My cousin inherited the shop and runs it, and my uncle would have loved the old can thing)

I have long since said I want my ashes in a steel-cut oats tin! :D

morningice,
The idea of having items created from the ashes is interesting. I can see the appeal of that. Definitely vibe with your thought of benefiting a future tree/plant life.

Ladyhawke,
What general area do you live in? It's interesting that you haven't seen an embalmed body in ages, since that is like the standard practice in my area/religion. Normal practice seems to be a very regional and cultural thing. Personally, I am not a fan of the end result of embalming. I know they make their best efforts to make the person look "nice", but in my opinion the person looks drastically different from how they looked in life. Almost like a porcelain doll of themselves, but not quite a right copy. I really dislike open casket viewings.

Ammit,
"I find it very distasteful thought to be pumped full of poison so that my last act is to contaminate the earth and to saddle my family with tens of thousands of dollars in expenses. I don't begrudge anyone who wants that and can understand why it feels right for others but it is very much not for me."
This echoes my feelings on embalming and burial in a cemetery exactly! I also find it wasteful that the ground I am in will never be used for anything other than housing my rotting bones and an expensive casket. As someone who loves wild and rural places, I hate to see natural land swallowed up by development. Cemeteries at some point become full and have to grow and take up another space that was once something else.
Also, thank you for your thoughts on prepping family ahead of time for your wishes. We will be writing our wishes down in our estate planning documents, so they will have it in writing what we want. You bring up a good point though of addressing it verbally ahead of time, so that they can ask questions and come to peace with it if it doesn't jive with what they envisioned for you.
I also like your idea about making your own memorial site. I didn't consider the fact that it doesn't HAVE to be where the ashes are spread. Perhaps that is something I would leave up to my family if they would like to arrange for that. It would be for their benefit, and not mine, if they wanted something.

HarmonysDawn,
Thank you for sharing. The process you described is kind of what I envisioned for myself. To be cremated, but also have a memorial service where the family has an opportunity to come together and share memories. The opportunity to reminisce and be with family is the primary thing I enjoy about funerals.

Minimum,
Thank you for sharing! From a very young age I was taught to be a thrifty spender, so eco-friendly and cheap is exactly what I am leaning towards as well! Although I do think my family would definitely want some sort of memorial service, and I wouldn't begrudge them for wanting that.

Thank you so much to everyone! I love the ideas and that you're willing to share with me. Any thought, even if it contradicts with my feelings, is valid and helpful as I ponder on this. I very much believe in the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinions about what they feel is right vs. wrong for them and their family.

Lingonberry, thank you for your thoughts and perspective. I think the idea of your mom's ashes being split between everyone is a sweet idea. You brought up some good thoughts that helped put me at ease for what I am thinking for myself.

Another question I thought of last night. Does anyone have experience with their partner wanting something drastically different for their disposition and burial? My husband is the type of person that will say, "I don't care what happens after I die, do what you want." I am curious though if he does have strong feelings for something totally opposite of me, would I want to change my mind so that our final resting place would be together? Food for thought for sure.

My wife and I were talking this morning about this (thanks to your post) and she wants to be made into a tree. She thinks the splitting up ashes is weird. It’s funny how different we all are.

All my life my direct family has openly discussed this topic. And what we'd want if we were on life support etc. I feel it should be talked about so we can honor our loved ones.

I've experienced a lot of death in my life and viewings, funerals, cremation as discussed above have been very normal routes takens. In more recent years having a celebration of life has become a very normal.

My mom passed just over a month ago now and she wanted everything donated. We were able to donate her eyes to a lab doing studies on retinas and then we were able to do a whole body donation to the U of U. She also wanted for us to have a party. When my dad's ready we'll do a party/celebration of life for her.

My dad really likes an old tradition of walking along the casket to the burial. I'll probably walk with a photo of him, when he passes. And donate everything possible.

If my family had our way, bodies would be donated. And if that wasnt possible then we're ok being dumped in the wild and let nature take it's course. Obviously this last option isn't an option so cremation and spreading ashes etc is what we all choose.

LookingGood, you should look into the body farm that VorpalAlice mentioned. From what I gather they in a lot of their work they let the bodies decompose naturally and study the process.
Might be a good way to donate your body but also be left to return to the earth.

Amber,
I really like the idea of mixing your ashes together. After that do you guys want your ashes to be spread somewhere, or kept by the family in an urn together?
I am sorry also to hear about your two sisters, and the unfortunate situation with their funerals. Dealing with stress like that, after you are already grieving, sounds very difficult.

Amber,
That sounds like a good option. Then the ashes can be shared with whoever would like some.